


Evil Friendship Start!

by Indigo_Jazzone8



Series: The Dapper Demon Trio [1]
Category: Gravity Falls, Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Cannibalism, Chaos, Crack Crossover, Crime, Crossover, Demons Are Assholes, Harm to Animals, Mayhem, Other, Petty. Crime, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indigo_Jazzone8/pseuds/Indigo_Jazzone8
Summary: What do you get when a hat , a triangle and a deer wake up in the middle of nowhere a few miles away from Las Vegas, the city of sin and pleasure?Sounds like a bad opening to a bad joke , but hey the punchline is even worst! There's gonna be bloodshed, generous amounts of singing , rivalry and even through their demons and had killed an unholy amount of lives in total will never treat a lady wrong-well Al wouldn't, black hat wouldn't give them the time of day and Bill I bet ten bucks he's an obnoxious flirt that actually wins a few over.Updates whenever so make sure you have your appetite for mayhem , murder, and chaos ready!
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Original Character(s)
Series: The Dapper Demon Trio [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594669
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Here we introduce our important catalyst an oc created specially for the purpose of messing up or ruining others lives introducing the persona and spirit animal of every horny fan - boy girl or alien invader from another planet trapped on this imploding dirtball - Betty!

Behind the schemes of every known universe is a being with no gender, made of various cosmic energies bound in a loosely feminine form. This being was not God. They went by many names ; Karma , Destiny , Fate whatever name the many beings that suffered under its many tasteless pranks chose to call them.

However, they or she as the being liked to be referred to went by the sweet moniker of Betty.

And Betty lounged on an infinite mass of bedding , she let out dramatic sigh , “ Gosh, I'm so bored there’s nothing to do” She whined laying flat on her back one nebula spotted leg in the air.

Day after day making sure nothing went wrong with any of the infinite dimensions she looked after . Of course things usually did, keeping her entertained but lately things had gotten quiet…too quiet.

And quiet got boring . Fast .

“ Freddie-pie , bring up flies BH- eldritch please” She cooed to the vast cotton candy like domain.

“ Are you sure Ms. Betty?” a strangely british , male disembodied voice answered back , “ When ever you look at that things flies , you get rather-” the voice paused as if choosing his next word carefully “- moody”

If Betty had eyes , or facial features for that matter , would have rolled them in annoyance.

“ Can you blame me though? He ‘retired’ from being the most entertaining eldritch !”

“ By entertaining you mean the thousands of global massacres , universal terror and destruction?” Fred said reason in his voice.

“ Duh ! “ she spat, “ No more destruction no more worlds out of my metaphorical hair”

“ Now he’s some mundane otherworldly salesman” She sighed as she finished her rant creating a large bottle of ancient wine . Fred , the disembodied voice watched as his master and creator downed the whole thing in one gulp.

“He-“ she angrily slurred conjuring up another bottle, “ He maybe selling to other villains across the multiverse but-“ She let out a burp that shook the pink dimension

“But?”

“ But the worse thing is his goody two shoes copy is not as handsome as he is ! Yeah he’ s sweet but not my type of man!” She sighed with all the loneliness of a middle-aged single woman.

“I’m pretty sure both don’t know you exist”

She let out a depressed growl ,” Tell me something I don’t know ! It's all that yellow moron’s fault for getting me in trouble“

She paused replacing the empty bottle with another, sounding rather tipsy allowing herself to get drunk.

“ I mean , we did cause some minor issues for them tho- “

“ Destroying half of creation is **not** a minor issue”

“-yeah whatever. Speaking of that dipshit how’s my favorite great-niece doing?” She asked draining the bottle as she spoke. “ She finally going through with that hotel of ‘ers?”

“About that…” her disembodied assistant started sounding rather indecisive “ it seems she attracted the attention of an overlord of hell”

Betty let out a drunken burp, “ Which hell did she took residence in again? There’s several of them out there y’know”

“Lets see “ Fred paused the background noise of papers being looked through , “ Hell number 12,000,000,000, 666 it seems, reality-“

“Laymen's terms nerd. I’m more of an artist than a techie , that’s why I made you to handle all that “

Fred chose to ignore her rude remark “ The one you wanted to label as the fun one”

“ Oh yeeeah” she slumped further into a drunken state “ Remind me to go down there one day , remembering that shitty triangle makes me want to blow off some steam”

“Oh and stop with that disembodied shit, I gave you that form, you better wear it!” Betty huffed swirling her wine around lazily. Fred let out a strangled sigh. “Fine . But don’t conjure any of those tasteless accessories onto my person!”

Betty shrugged as a black figure fell down onto her plush formless bed . She watched with non-existent eyes as the vanta-black solid lump shifted and squirm as it turned into a 3D shadow of a cat.

Its outline had tufts of fur sticking out all over its body , a poufy tail swaying back and forth in irritation. “Can I continue now?” He , Fred asked as he sat down in a prim manner. When Betty nodded her head , Fred’s body shook as a piece of it left his body.

The piece of shadow crawled up into the space. It stretched and twisted morphing into a Tv screen.

Betty let out a sharp whistle as an image of a brutally red deer-type demon came on the screen. “ Dang! Who’s that cut of venison ?! Is he single ? That is a he right? I mean I don’t mind , I’ve hadn’t dated since that yellow bastard!”

She downed another bottle, letting out an earth shaking burp” By the way what has that jerk wad been up to anyways, did he regain his physical form yet?”

Her feline form assistant cleared his throat “ About that… he did got his physical form-“

“Good for him” His master let out a faceless sneer , pointing at the sinister grin wearing Wendigo “ Who’s Mr.Sexy ? And more importantly does he have thing for cosmic beings?”

If Fred possessed a hand or a nose he would be pinching the bridge in exasperation. “ So you don’t want to know that he then got defeated by a group of humans?”

“HE GOT WHAT?! BY WHAT?!” Fred expertly dodged his masters spit take. He pulled his head back as his master invaded his personal space, “You better not be joking mister or you’ll be living the rest of your miserable existence in the form of a cockroach!”

“I don’t joke Ms. Betty would you like to see?” His tone implied he was smiling rather smugly. Without any confirmation the image of the smiling demon was replaced by a clip of the dream demons defeat.

He greatly enjoyed his master’s stunned science until she broke into hysterical laughter. He waited patiently as she guffawed her high pitch laughter echoed in the infinite space. When she showed signs of calming down he switched the screen back to the handsome wendigo.

“Hah hah…hah. Freddie pie you know exactly how to cheer me up!” Fred didn't fought when she went to scratch behind his ears. A twinkle of joy flickered where her eye would be as he let out a gentle purr.

This went on for an almost infinite amount of time before she went back to the topic of ‘Mr. Sexy’ . “ So who is he any way? Is he that overlord you’re concerned about”

The cat nodded his head slinking away from her,” He is called the Radio Demon a mortal soul with unimaginable power. He lived his life as a serial killer and cannibal in his home state of Louisiana. He also practiced the local magic Voodoo which I believe translated into his indomitable powers upon his death.” As Fred spoke images of the Radio Demon uncensored deeds both when he was alive and dead danced on the screen.

Betty’s metaphorical jaw dropped as she watched the carnage on the screen play out “… Is it wrong that this turns me on? Cause it does, and I don’t care not one bit”

“Upon his arrival the Radio Demon or Alastor as he goes by, “ He pretended not to see his creator swoon repeating the name in a lovesick way” He overturned overlords that had been in power for centuries, causing chaos to the power structure”

“ So what’s his plan then? That type of guy doesn’t do any thing for no reason, he’s like the younger mortal version of Blackie” She exchanged her bottle of wine for a glass of the blood red liquid.

“ For entertainment purposes I assume based on his conversation with your great-niece that I intercepted”

The space was then filled with the recorded conversation between her great-niece and the Radio Demon;

_“So then why do you want to help me if you don’t believe in what I do?”_

_“Consider it an investment, an ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure."_

“ So he’s a fan of comedy , there is nothing wrong with that” Betty stretched her arms tiredly,” Even if he wants to sabotage the hotel my great-niece can take care of herself she’s not a damsel in distress”

Fred sighed . He wished his master took her job seriously like the other being. But he new that was wishful thinking.

So he curled up next to her finding himself suddenly tired.

Betty absently petted the sleeping cat-thing , as the new flood of information settled in her consciousness.

She felt no sympathy for Bill’s defeat, he had a bad habit of looking down on people however it seemed his habit finally bit him in the ass . And he did it all on his own! But she was going to miss his insane creativity, it was the only thing she liked about him.

Unlike BH though he never thought up a good plan! Oh how she loved the eldritch conquering of dimensions ! The way he looked down upon the guys that tried to stop him but never underestimating them. He personified well thought out hubris never showing mercy as he used people left and right.

She could never understand why he just up and retired turning into a glorified salesman! Maybe he was bored like the deer demon looking for something fun to do.

“ Speaking of I can’t believe a mortal soul like him has all that potential heck he could even rival Blackie! Maybe even that yellow jackass…If only there was a way to solve my boredom- wait!”

Fred’s sleeping form shivered as his master sprouted the look the Grinch made when he came up with the plan to steal Christmas. But this was worse far, far , far worse. “Maybe there is a way I can have my fun~” she purred evilly, jumping off carefully she went to enact her horrible idea. “Momma’s got some work to do!


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you for the hits and the Kudis!  
> We're setting the stage for the impending chaos that's going to happen.
> 
> I use word docs so I have to re-format everything , I mean everything. The things I do for love. And yes I did quote Courage.

**_ Hat island , Hatsville _ **

For some odd reason Dr. Flug woke up in a cold sweat gasping for air. Not that was unusual of course since he normally has nightmares hence the cryo-bed. But this feeling was nothing like that . Heavy and solid like lead sat in his stomach. “Maybe I'm hungry “ he yawned as he quietly got out of his bed. Making sure not to wake his perfect little bear-child he grabbed a flash light.

He shivered as he crept into the hallway. His breath shuddered as he made his way down to the kitchen. As he walked on the eerily creaky floors Flug’s usually high nerves were at his highest point. Every time he woke up for a midnight snack he had to brace himself for his bosses pranks.

The manor at night exuded an even more intense haunted house aura then at day time. Flug had to use every once of self-control to not jump at every shadow, noise or moving painting that his employer loved to possess.

And the solid lump of dread in his stomach did not help.

But when he made it safely to the kitchen with zero scares his heart rate increased. Weird. It was unusually quiet tonight. As he quickly made his snack he prepared himself for his boss to pop up behind him giving him a heart attack.

But he never did.

“B-boss ?” he meekly squeaked out fear creeping into his voice. Maybe he was asleep. Wait did he even sleep? He didn’t think so. As the unsettling quiet caused his anxiety to skyrocket he changed a glance at his boss’s most favorite self portrait. The giant one hanging in the foyer.

When he did, that unsettling feeling got stronger. Instead of smiling back at him in the most nightmarish way , he only saw an unmoving toothy grin staring right back at him. That was a hundred times more terrifying than what he dealt with. Feeling a shiver run up his spine he suddenly felt not hungry. Ignoring that feeling of impending doom he rushed back to his room.

He tried to convince himself that everything was fine .

Completely and utterly fine.

_Right?_

**_Hell number ,eh the fun one Hazbin Hotel _ **

Angel Dust , hells number one pornstar was tapping away on his hellphone sexting one of his many , many clients. His long spider body was draped over the chaise lounge chair in the lobby of the hotel. He smirked at the devices screen at the recent text already feeling turned on. Thankfully he ground his groin into a throw pillow on the couch. Just as he was about to get off the front door slammed opened startling him. He nearly dropped his phone. “ The fuck ?!” The pink spider demon shouted head snapping to see Charlie worriedly rush past him.

“ Ah sorry Angel!” the rose-cheeked princess of hell gushed turning to him spinning on her heels. She gave him a nervous grin her pale hand’s clasped together tightly, “ Uh have you seen Alastor around ? I wanted to go over the budget with him but he’s not at his tower”

“ Don’t know , don’t care why don’t you ask your crazy gal “

“ Vaggie's running some errands for me I don't want to bother her!”

“ But you can bother me? Babe, don’t cha worry your pretty head ‘bout Smiles he’s probably in his room or some shit” What Angel said was the closest thing to reassurance which made Charlie a bit calmer. “Thanks , Angel ! Sorry for scaring you!”

“ Ya couldn’t scare shit!” huffed the spider demon as he went back to doing what he did best. As the pornstar did his thing Charlie as fast as Nifty on a caffeine high traveled up the stairs to Alastors office/hotel room. Which was a surprising feat given it was on the very top floor. When she got to the old fashioned door she already knew something was amiss. The ornate red door that usually radiated a creepy bright red glow was dull, the eye decoration in the door frame was closed.

“Um, Alastor are you in-“ The door eerily creaked open before her fist was able to politely knock against it, “- here.” Okay. That was weird. And somehow more creeper than any bargain bin horror movie.

“ Alastor are you okay?” She poked her head inside taking in the 20th century décor of the suite. Everything looked pretty cozy ; a collection of radios on one wall, bookshelves filled to the brim with books , and even a plush arm chair sat in front of an empty fireplace.

‘ Did he went on a business trip?’ Charlie thought , humming nervously. He seemed like the unpredictable type , but he could've at least told her.

Oh well. She could do the budget with him later.

As she was about to leave her phone rang , with a very very annoying ringtone. It was a mix of K-pop , J-pop and loud head pounding stomping. The volume was at head splitting levels. To make it worse it even had cartoonish dog barking and cat meowing.

Charlie groaned recognizing the annoying migraine inducing ringtone. Her great-aunt put that as her ringtone on her phone when she was gifted it. After the first few calls she found out in dismay she couldn’t change it. She even did the same thing to her father’s phone. For some odd reason as she stared at her caller id ,she felt a worrisome ball of panic growing in her gut. She blanked out for a moment expertly ignoring the addition of air horn blasts to the ringtone. Hopefully this had nothing to do with the missing Radio Demon.

“WHERE THE HOLY HELL IS THAT SHIT COMING FROM?!”She flinched at an hungover Husk scream snapping her back to reality. Oops. She forgot the ringtone grew in intensity and volume if left unanswered. Muttering a quick apology she answered the phone.

“ Heya cupcake !” A happy Betty greeted in her ear. She sounded oddly happy. The type of happy she got into when she was about to do something really dangerous. Or when she did something dangerous. “Hi Aunt Betty” Charlie smiled nervously, as she twirled a lock of hair.

“No , no. What did I told you to call me?!”

“ Err…sorry big sis. Um, what do you need?” Charlie held in a sigh. Vaggie always wondered how she could stand Angel Dust’s flippant personality , the answer was obvious. She was related to one.

“Awww! You’re so cute CharChar!”Betty gushed over the phone, “ Anyway I just want to say I’m gonna be borrowing that tall stack of venison! I’’ll take good care of him sweetie!” Charlie's pale face became transparent. A ball of dread slammed down into her gut twisting in worry. “ Auntie , please don’t do this- wait why are you borrowing Alastor?”

“Sorry sweetie I have guests to prepare for~ “

“ Wait-“

“ Sorry sweetie gotta go kisses. And before I forget reserve me a room , I’m gonna need a place to hide after my game is over~” She hung up before Charlie could ask cutting her off. “Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no!” She stared at the screen what little color she had draining away.

She was too young at the time but she did saw what her Aunt and her now ex boyfriend did. And her grandfather was not happy! Even her dad , who loved chaos was pissed at all the extra work her great-aunt gave him.

Not wanting to imagine, Charlie refused to wonder what level of mayhem she was up to. All she knew was that something bad , really bad was going to happen. Sadly stopping her aunt is impossible on every level. Heck , she was more powerful than her grandfather . Letting out a haggard sigh she instead decided to call up her dad for damage control.

He really, _really_ won't like the news.

**_Gravity Falls , Oregon_ **

Deep in an abandoned part of the woods, if you were to take a stroll you would come across a moss covered statue. The statue seemed frozen in time, and although it only had one eye you could tell it had a look of absolute fear on it. The statue only came up to waist height . It looked smooth. Too smooth as if it wasn’t carved at all from stone. The base of the statue had moss slowly crawling up it , the earth wanting to swallow this reminder. In front of the statue a tear through several layers of reality ; a vortex of colors and stardust.

“Well, well well” A light but robust feminine voice dripped obvious glee, spooking off a few animals in the area. A few birds took shelter in the nearby trees their voices mute as a lithe figure stepped out it.

The curvy hourglass figure sashayed over to the statue. Although she was humanoid in appearance , the figure wore an outfit of a 1950’s exercise video , pastel leg warmers, a sweater that reveled her shoulders, and a big hairdo.

Betty's appearance may have been outrageous , but the style seemed to fit . It fully matched her boisterous personality. From a humans point of view her skin looked black with a soft glow of navey blue. But it was in fact a dense mass of cosmic energy .

She shifted most of her weight on one leg as she placed a hand on her hips saucily. She normally had no facial features to speak of , but for this case she had a pair of deep galaxy purple lips pulled in a smug smile.

“Look what we have here” She purred softly as she looked at the statue from all angles, treading carefully on the moss.

“You know Bill I think grey looks great on you!” She said to the still statue. Right now the thing before her was a husk. The real Bill Cipher was trapped in the mind of a certain Stanley Pines. But just with a snap of her fingers that could be fixed, easily dissecting both mentalities from each other.

But what to do after? She could easily let him return to his mental prison or she could leave him inside the stone prison.

“ You know for the sake of our few and I mean _few_ “ She loudly clasped her hands, “ Happy memories I’ll do you a favor, I'll give you a little surprise.How's that? “That surprise was something that'll really piss him off, he'll still have his physical form of course. Imagining his reaction caused her to snicker evililyp>

With a chuckle Betty politely grasped the statue's outstretched palm. Navy blue flames sprouted from the handshake.

She watched as the flames grew larger then trickled down the statue’s form , her lips parted in a smile as the flames hungrily devoured the stone.

Although it seemed harmless the opposite was true. Bill’s stone form was quickly eaten away , being replaced by yellow chaotic energy. The pain he was feeling should be tantamount to fire ants crawling on him.

Of course she could've made it a bit more painful , but she had to be careful. Right now Stanley Pines was going through a mental extraction. She didn’t want to pop the ole water bag.

The other had plans for him and his family.

She didn't want to attract any attention before she went into hiding.

Well anymore than what she was doing of course.

With a snap of her fingers the flaming form popped out of existence causing a ripple effect.

Everyone in the space felt the invisible force sweep over them. The animals screamed anxiously , the plants rustled in irriation as it rolled over the forest.

The ripple effect did not stop when it reached the town. Each creature human or otherwise felt it deep in there bones.

“ Whoa” gasped a chubby man child . His beefy arms were filled with bags of food from the grocery store,” Did ya just felt that ?” He said to a fellow townsperson.

“Nothing at all!” The townsperson smirked, they wore a t-shirt with the town’s motto : Nothing to see here.

“ Really? It felt like something big just happened. Like a cosmic being beyond our understanding , easily released something inexplicably dangerous” Soos' eyes glazed over as if he was high off pot. But this was Soos. He was known throughout town always having his head in the clouds.

“ Or it could just be gas” He shrugged it off , not knowing how close he was to the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow you guys either got good or bad taste! But thank you for the support. Posting on this site drives me crazy, but I if you guys keep sending me love it'll be worth it.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our three main players are finally gathered. Like every fan meeting their crushes Betty is overjoyed. Alastor is curious, Black Hat is furious and Bill is confused ! The stage is set so lets introduce our actors to each other and lets get this blood bath started!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to type my story on the archive, so the updates may be more sporadic than promised. Remember to comment, remeber constructive criticism. If I made a character OOC please tell me how I did so and how to fix. 
> 
> Thanks!!

One minute he was in his office , listening to his jingle while watching the chaos outside his window. The next thing he knew Black Hat was whisked away to some where pink. And fluffy. 

The eldritch horror let out a hiss as his one eye glared at the gaudy color. The space felt like the inside of a cloud, fluff making up the ceiling , the walls even the floor! How he wasn't falling through he did not know, somehow that pissed him off more.

Scowling , his face twisted in one of annoyance and undisguised rage. Who ever did this better not be some upstart hero or one of those B-list villians thinking they can outsmart him. He scanned the area for that unfortunate soul. Running a business like his needed to be micro managed at every turn. From making sure his spineless doctor kept on his schedule , keeping Demecia from destroying the house to getting rid of any competion, any minute wasted equaled a loss of reputation. Forget about money , reputation for him was more important.

So it made sense that when ,not _if_ , the parasites he calls his minions blow up his house _again_ ** _,_** making him look like a fool he was going to strap whoever was behind this to an atom bomb and launch that onto their house!

Or maybe he should kidnap their whole family , including the distant relatives and give them to Flug to test out a few torture methods. Black Hat's scowl turned into a full toothed grin as he imagined the gore. He'd have to warn Flug not to get too carried away , after he's done he'll send the disembodied person's back to whoever crossed him. Or maybe he should have Flug record the torture session , hack into every nation's television service and play it on repeat to get the word across. Maybe he should do it during that Bears vomit inducing shows.

What better way to make the Bear evil than to traumatize him? 

No that wouldn't work. 5.0.5 had built up a bit of tolerance to gore , also it would cause him to be more afraid of Flug than his boss. That would make him furious! As he thought up evil ways he nearly missed the startling red figure near a long buffet table. Remembering his initial fury he stomped angrily to where the figure was.

The space wasn't completely empty. There was a very long buffet table underneath a bloody 'Welcome!' banner with dripping letters. As he got near he let his wrath boil up to the surface . 

"Who on earth gave you the right ," With each word his form grew turning more nightmarish than the form he conjured to punish his idiots ror letting a hero in his house! " to even _think of dragging me to this inferior place?!"_

Alerted due to the eldritch' s deep gravelly voice., the figure turned around . Sharp yellow that gnawed on a bone belonged to a wide smiling grin. The big grin stood out upon pale grey skin, as large red eyes looked at him with human levels of curiosity. Black Hats fury grew when he saw that this bright blood red creature did not seem fazed by this. 

" Yes?" By the deer-like form of the creature before him , Black Hat guessed he was a Wendingo. A cannibalistic spirit from Native American culture. Which tribe he didn't know or cared, but he hadn't met one before .Nor had he wanted to. He shot a disgusted glare at the plate of spare ribs the creature held.

He detested creatures that partook in such junk.

To tell the truth Alastor was a bit startled at this tar black but well dressed figure's arrival. He radiated an aura of eerily familiar power,but he couldn't place it. So he gracefully plucked out the bone he had been nibbling on , putting on his most welcoming smile. " May I help you good sir?" His cheeks had long ago turned numb at how wide he was grinning , the static of his voice buzzing slightly. The figure growled at him a green fire appearing behind his glass monocle.

" You may _help me_ " The man hissed the words obviously leaving a bad taste in his mouth. Well Alastor assumed it was a he. The way the voice had a hint of masculinity, and his form was that of a male ; you won't survive very long in hell if you don't pay attention to details such as that." by telling me _who the fuck you are and where the hell I am !"_

 _"_ You have to ask nicely Sir!" Alastor grinned his trademark shit eating grin, " We may be heaven knows where but that doesn't mean you should not use your manners!"

The Victorian dressed demon gritted his teeth as ominous green liquid sizzled down his mouth, letting out a growl. Even through Al is not one to care about dental hygiene , he found the man's teeth repulsive. But keeping his genial front Alastor politely asked in his mid-alantic way , "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Grrr _I'm Alastor radio host extraordinaire! "_

The black faced mans nose less face twisted in anger at Alastors greeting. " Do you not know who the hell I am?"

" Why I have no clue! Alastor said with a lot of confidence , " But out of all the demons I've met I had not met one with style such as yourself! May I ask where did you got that hat?" As much as he enjoyed poking fun at others , he made sure to draw the line when dealing with powerful entities. You would not survive in life or in death if you failed to measure another's power.

The flattery did not went past Black Hat. In fact he just narrowed his lone reptilian eye in suspicion at the demon. He was a startling shade of red , his yellowed teeth in a wide grin. He looked at the stretched out hand to Black Hat in greeting.

Black Hat glared at it as if it had fleas. " I'm the most powerful existence in the soul universe; Black Hat is the name!" Nonetheless he enjoyed showing off , hopefully by just mentioning his name the pitiful creature would tremble in fear begging for mercy. 

Alastor blinked a few times at him his bright red eyes seeming to grow brighter."No I don't believe so . I would've remembered such a name. Do you want some these spare ribs are simply _divine_ "

Before he could even register his words an ugly tear above the table appeared .With a resounding crash a large flaming statue landed on the table destroying the variety of food.

" AHHHH! For the love of the universe !" The statue screamed as navy blue flames ate away at the stone leaving behind bright yellow energy. 

Both Black Hat and Alastor took one glance at this sight. Then exchanged a ruthless smile before bursting out in laughter taking great joy at the new arrivals misery. 

Alastor swiftly picked up a glass full of wine took a sip, swirled it around in the glass while looking at the suffering being. " Why of course my good lad! But what do I get out of helping you?"

" Anything! Power! Money! Just put it out!" The yellow being wailed as the Navy blue flames made his eye turn red from madness. It didn't burn him but it made him itch crazily.

" Mr Black Hat is it? Do you think this wine has a high alcohol content?" The Radio demon asked his smile becoming more mischievous. He didn't wait for an answer as he without any hesitation dumped the wine onto the fire. Like magic the fire only grew worse. 

" Indeed Mr. Alastor ! Maybe some more will help put out our new guest! " Never one to be left out of pain and misery of others Black Hat happily grabbed a bottle of wine, with great gusto smashed it over the fireballs head.

"THAT IS IT!!" The statue screamed. It's single eye turned red as its form grew huge dissolving the statue into dust. It angrily grabbed both demons in his hands. The touch made Alastors eyes turn into static his smile more deranged. This did not went unnoticed by Black Hat who was similarly displeased by the touch. 

" I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES SO BAD THAT YOU'LL BE BEGGING FOR YOUR MOTHERS!" Bill screamed as his eye glowed. Black Hat just laughed at Bills threat, who did not take kindly to being laughed at. " Really? Nightmares? Thats the best you can do? "

Alastor also laughed his voice full of static. His horns had become taller and sharper his smile becoming more ghastly. " _Haha! Sir , if you do not unhand me now you might lose your hand! And I would hate to oh so impolite on our first meeting!"_

 _"_ HAHA YOU'RE SO FUNNY BAMBI!" Bill yelled tightenting his grip on the deer demon. In response his mouth turned beastially biting savagely into Bills hand. Instead of Paris g through as he thought it would pain seared through his hand. The surprise of it caused him to drop the deer demon not before he ore a chuck of flesh with him. Blood dripped down Alastors face holding onto the meat like a rabid animal. Black Hat watched with slight amusement as Alastors hungrily ripped into the flesh.

"Bill?! What the heck did you do?" Suddenly an angry screech ripped through the air. All turned their attention to the feminine voice. At the top of a set of stairs that widen out elegantly at the bottom was a figure of a beautiful woman. Dressed in a gossamer gown with lace that flowed from her body, it was not hard to sense the confidence that dominated the room. The woman then stormed down the stairs yelling at the top of her lungs," Is it so goddamn hard for you to behave?! I, out of the kindness of my heart invited you of all people to this get-together only for you to destroy the place!?"

It was then Bill Cipher took stock into the surrounding's. The pink endless space. The almost sugary air. The cosmic being stomping down angrily towards him setting off explosions in her wake. His eye widen in shock sheepishly letting go of Black Hat. "Betty! How's life been treating you sweetheart!?" 

"Don't you sweetheart me you , you yellow dorito chip!" Betty snapped her wavy hair angrily whipping all over. She put her hands on her hourglass shaped hips as she fumed. "Do you know how hard it is to choose the right dishes for a cannibal?! Not to mention that wine was super hard to get! But no you just had to ruin it all!"

"Babe calm down you don't want to set off another apocalypse!" Bill said trying to calm down his ex as he shrunk back to size. "How about we sit down and chat like old times right?"

Betty just scowled at him making her rather beautiful facial features more intimidating," I rather talk to the other being then you , you multi-dimensional homewreacker!" 

"Not that I'm not amused by your endearing display," Black Hat grimaced dusting his outfit off," But may I assume this revolting place is yours?"

Her purplish blue lips perked in a smile directing it towards Black Hat. " Why yes it is want a tour handsome?" She let out purr fluttering her eyes seductively towards him. "The name is Betty. Well , thats the name _I_ use. You may know me by other names such as Fate, Karma, and Destiny" 

"Yes and I am-"

"The most dastardly , vile and _wicked eldritch ever to exist!"_ She swooned happily," You go by Black Hat instead of your true name. Oh just thinking of it gives me chills! I love all your work even the more mundane acts of villainy these days!" 

'Oh great. Another Dementia' Black Hat frowned watching as this possibly omnipresent entity had a fangirl moment. The moment her sight landed on a slightly bloodied Alastor she let out an excited gasp" Oh my! Mister Alastor I'm terribly sorry that you got that pathetic losers blood all over you!" She snapped her fingers summoning a white handkerchief.

Alastor politely refused her offer ," Its no problem Madame! That is why I wear red ! To cover up all the stains left behind by my meals. I am a terrible messy eater , I just hope you aren't upset that I took a chunk out of your beau!"

She let out a lovesick giggle as she waved it off," Nonsense! I'm just worried that the moron left a bad taste in your mouth. However that stupid moron should be honored to be bitten by the most infamous serial killer and radio star of all of New Orleans!" .

"Why I am flattered to be recognized by the most dazzling example of the opposite gender!" He bowed dramatically towards her. Both Black Hat and Bill rolled their respective numbered eyes in disgust at the excessive amount of flattery. " Bets, can you just tell us why the heck you gathered me here I have you know I was busy destroying a dimension!" Bill huffed not wanting to see his ex shamelessly flirt with whats his name I front of him. She shot him a disgusted glare of annoyance," Last time I checked you got yourself turned to stone after getting defeated by a couple of humans" 

" No wonder you look so familiar!" Black Hat guffawed at Bill whose face/body turned a shade of embarrassed red." You're that upstart dream demon ! What was your name? Bill Gopher?"

"It's Bill Cipher! Cipher!" 

"Oh stop being such a big baby Bill" Betty rolled her eyes," Just be happy I had enough of a non-existent heart to rescue you . Now lets hurry before I lose interest . I'm so bored already." 

With a dramatic slightly seductive clap of her hands she disappeared in a puff of smoke. Just to reappear at the top of the stairs. At once the lights went off with spotlights coming on gathering on her. She flipped her hair back before facing the three person crowd. 

"Greetings, esteemed guests and Bill!" They looked around as disembodied applause began ringing out," Today I the mistress of mischief! Manager of everything in existence would love to invite you all to play a lovely little game!" 

"Now, now" She waved making the cheers stop. " People called me overdramatic " Bill muttered as she glided down the stairs. " See I couldn't help but be bored with all the lack of mayhem. And while I was happily rewatching all my favorite deeds of my favorite eldritch I had a marvellous idea!"

"Why don't I gather my favorite baddies" Seeing the smug grin on Bills face she quickly added " And a washed up has been and have a little fun! See there is this little world I got really , _really_ tired of. And in order to create more universes I need more materials!"

Black Hat nodded quickly understanding " So you want our brand of unbridled chaos to destroy it for you? What do we get in return?"

"Hey , that world wouldn't be the one you made for our anniversary?" Bill asked feeling bitter at his ex. Geez, you cheat on someone one time by accident and they hold it against you for eons! "The one and the same Billy! I've tried getting rid of it but you know humans. Stubborn like cockroaches" 

She turned toward Black Hat undisgusied lust in her eyes," Well what else do you get besides the joy of destroying an entire world ? My eternal devotion!"

"I already got an over obsessed fan girl, I do not need one more" Came Black Hats disinterested reply as he bluntly rejected her advances " but when I get tried of her I won't tell you"

"Haha...Alastor you won't reject going on a date with me right?" The deer demon gave her an apologetic smile." Sorry my dear! I do not do any of that romance stuff! I'm terribly flattered but I don't feel that way!"

At this Bill let out a crazed laugh at the fact she got rejected. Twice " Haha! If you wanted me back you should've just asked babe!"

"Oh shut up Bill!" She snapped at him. " Its all right boys I was just kidding! It's not like my hopes of finding a better romantic partner were just crushed"

"A pity."

"Thankfully I've come up with a constellation prize!" She clapped her hands this time summoning a ball of glowing light. "This thing right here is all the infinite power you could ever hope for!"

Black Hat just let out a yawn," Is that it? Why would I want that all for destroying another world? It's even more pathetic then the easy task you've given us. Now if you excuse me I have somewhere more important."

She then turned to Alastor who shrugged shook his head," I'm sorry ma'am . I already have enough power as an overlord of hell. But maybe you could give it to mister Cipher instead? He did got defeated by humans afterall. He needs all the help he could get !"

Bill shot a glare at the deer demon," I don't need her help! I can do everything just fine!" Betty had strained smile on her face at all three remarks. But it wasn't like she didn't expected this was going to happen.

Betty let out a dramatic sigh," Gosh! You villains don't know when to accept a nice request! I was going to explain the rules of the game but guess I just have to show you all! " With a echoing snap of her fingers all three villains disappeared.

"And now to sit back and watch the show!"


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't read this if you have a pretty good imagination or whatever you want  
> The human form are hard to describe so. Alastors look pretty much like the way he did when alive taking cures from the fan made drawings of human Alastor. 
> 
> Blackie looks a bit like his creator bjt darker and smoother.
> 
> And Bill takes after his fanmade human form as well.

When Alastor came to his head was throbbing. Every bone in his body ached, muscles tensed. He could feel the arid warmth on he felt strange. As if something was missing.

Something important.

He couldn't put a finger on it really. All he knew there was a gaping hole somewhere. 

His nose twitched in the air. Dry, dusty and humid. However the overall freshness of it made him snap his eye open in alarm. The moment he was greeted by a startling blue he let out an amused laughter.

" I haven't seen a blue sky in _decades!"_ Alastor quipped his eyes blinking the sight of vultures silently circling overhead dancing around the glaring unforgiving sun. Although he could get up he didn't feel like it., he never had vulture before so he rather play dead in order to lure it to him. He could barely contain his glee at the thought of wringing such a long neck.

"Hey smiley you dead?" A childish face appeared over him. Too yellow to be blond ,a boyish haircut framed his eyes. Or should he say eye? A black cloth eye patch covered one, while the eerie yellow iris of the other glared at him. A piece of two-toned cape hung from his shoulders.

"Since 1933 my dear boy!" Alastor declared loudly smiling up at him with an unblinking face," Do I know you?"

"Hey! I'm a man !" The boy huffed," Yeah! And you bit my hand!Which fucking hurt by the way!" He shoved his finger into Alastors face. It was mere centimeters away from his nose yet the alarm bells went wild in the man's head. 

"Mr. Gopher " Alastor started his voice getting dangerously low, " Unless you want to lose a finger I'll advise you to get that offending appendage Out.Of.My. Face" Bill did as told not pleased being threatened by a human. A _human_. "And it's Cipher! Call me gopher again and I'll-!" He let out an undignified squeal as his body was seized from the ground. He was dangled by his cape. 

"Hey! Let go !" He screeched swiping at the air like cat not wanting to be dropped in water. 

"Not until you tell me what your gaudy lover did to me!" Holding Bill by the scruff of his neck was a slightly tall Latino man. His slicked back black hair half fell in his face which was twisted in a snarl that would be menacing if not for his handsome looks. 

" She's my ex! My ex!" Bill hollered angry still flailing his tiny limits. Alastor just let out a chuckle a worm eye view of the show in front of him,"Mister you should not man handle a child like that"

"I AM NOT A CHILD!" Bill screamed puffing his cheeks out angrily, "Besides who the fuck are you?!" He screamed at the man who held him. The man was in fact Black Hat in a puny fragile human body.His eyes would be on fire if they could." Then _why for the love of everything unholy_ are you mewling like one?!"

"Could you two be quiet please? I want to see if I can attract a vulture."

Black Hat glared down at the person on the ground. Unlike earlier his red hair was more brown his skin from pale grey to a normal light latte brown. His monocle was replaced by small round glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose. If it wasn't for the annoying voice and ever present grin he would have mistaken the human for someone other than the self proclaimed radio host. " If you're not dead get up " He spat down at the man whose hair was becoming sandy," I'll be needing a burial spot for this puny creature!" For emphasis he angrily shook the one eyed man.

"Nope!" Alastor said making sure to pop the letter 'p'," Just because you're cranky doesn't mean you have to be impolite!"

"I can be however impolite I want to a puny human like you!" Black Hat yelled glaring down at the annoying ever grinning man on the sand," And I demand that you stop smiling ! "

" I can't ! You know why?" The man asked his smile somehow widening , " Because you're never fully dressed without a smile!"

"Hey, that sorta makes you naked ! Bill quipped ," Y'know with how hard you're frowning and all! Would it kill ya to smile a bit?" The short child like man said not resisting being a pain. Black Hat glared spitefully at both Bill and Alastor as they laughed at his expense. Bills unhinged laughter quickly turned into a sputtering choke when Black Hat encircled his hand's round his tiny neck.

This just made Alastor laugh even harder as Bill kicked , scratched and hissed against the tall frowning man. He didn't bother to stop this lovely show! Instead he sat up dusting off the sand that found its way in his hair to watch Black Hat throttle the poor scamp.

"Why are you not dead yet?!" Black Hat yelled squeezing harder using all the strength that this puny human form had. By now he would have easily dissected the tiny man shoveling hot coals in his bleeding stomach cavity but sadly he found out his powers were gone. He had woke up an hour earlier feeling disgustingly human. Him a human! And what was worse he couldn't change back to his glorious form. Even if he could not mangle the little mongrel he wanted to at least snap his neck, but he couldn't even do that!

That made him even more irritable! Not to mention that Alastors grating cackle was ever so slightly getting on his nerves

"I demand you stop that insidious laughter you insufferable mortal!" He roared at the radio host whose straight white toothed smile seemed to add to his wacky vibe. He only paused from throttling Bill for only a second but a second was all he needed. The Cyclops bit into the hand holding his neck making Black Hat release him with a small scream of pain.His eyes turned black for a small second as Bill hit the ground running.

"I WILL TORTURE YOU FOR AN ETERNITY YOU MISERABLE CUR!" He roared chasing after the tiny man who maniacally laughed as he ran away from him.

"Catch me if you can old man!" He yelled running hard. Or as hard his tiny legs could carry him. His short legs kicked up dust clouds purposely aiming some at Black Hats human eyes. The former demon let out a venomous his when grains of sand found their way into his fleshy eyes. " _You'll be wishing you never did that."_ Thoughts of murder bounced around in his head becoming louder and louder. 

He _absolutely refused_ to let that man-brat live after today.

Alastor sat patiently still his grin on his face as he amusedly watched Mr. Hat chase down Bill Cipher spewing demonic curses. Being a radio man he had trained himself to recognize voices and speech patterns, so he could tell who the Latino man was.

Right when Mr. Hat was about to grab Bill he saw out of the corner of his eye a sleek black vulture descend. Blacker than a silhouette and sleeker than a raven it was the strangest thing he had ever seen.

Held gently in its mouth was a tied up scroll. Without any prompting the vulture dropped the scroll as close it could get without nearing him. 

"It's for you three, from my master" The vulture spoke. Alastor was a tad surprised at the echoey tired British voice. 

"How delightful a talking bird!" The vulture had no features but he saw it tensed up at his words," Tell me , do all birds talk now? Or am I going crazy from heat stroke?" 

"...The rules of the game are in there" It pointed to the scroll with its shadowy beak. It flapped its wings before dissolving in cloud of black particles. 

The radio host just blinked his eyes followed by a shrug. Quickly losing interest in the game of chase the other two played he reached for the scroll. Gently he unrolled the parchment revealing very showy cursive script.

His grin got wider as he read it, light of malicious joy danced in his eyes. He turned around to tell the others of what he found but he let out a gleeful laugh when he saw Mr.Hat smashing Bill's head against a large rock.

"Why. Is. This . Not Working?!" Black Hat growled as he bashed Bills head against the rock. Either the puny skull of Bill's head is thicker than a coconut , or his human form was pitifully weak. The latter made him livid. No one , _No one made him weak and gets away with it alive._

"Can you stop trying to stop bash my head in?, Bill asked boredom in his voice. But the grumpy grouch just cursed at him trying again to crack his skull open. "No seriously stop this is getting pathetic" he whined not caring that he felt pain when ever his face met the rock.

At first he was concerned for his life; humans were so amusedly fragile after all. And he really wouldn't put it past Betty to make him extra fragile... But after the 50th head bash he came to the conclusion that she altered the law of reality somehow.

"Not until I see your brains plastered on this rock!" He screamed increasing his strength. He was about to lose it when he heard a laugh behind him. An amused laugh aimed at him. He turned around looking for the source not at all surprised seeing Alastor laughing at him. He laughed like he was the only one in on a joke that he was the butt of. 

"What in the blazes are you laughing at you moron?" 

"Oh nothing. I just read a funny letter courtesy of Ms. Betty ! Would you like to hear it?"

"Sobre tú Cadáver!"

"Excuse-moi, qu' as-tu? Je n'ai pas tout à fait compris." The radio host replied cheekily readying the scroll. Clearing his throat with great fan fair he started to read it aloud. Black Hat not wanting to listen to Al's voice snatched it out of his hands and began reading. Alastors smile faltered slightly due to the slight touch of his hands but it was so subtle that no one noticed. The frowning handsome man let out a menacing growl as he read the scroll. The more he looked at it the more his face turned a deeper shade of red hands tightening on the paper; curious at what was making Black Hat angry Bill stood on his tippy toes looking down at the paper.

He squinted with one at the repulsive flashy cursive with one eye over the mans left side while the deer demon craned his neck over Black Hats right side, his cheeky grin ever present.

"What does it say?!" Bill whined as the Latino man started to shake violently," Does it say that she forgives me and that she's dying to get back together with the amazing me?" Both Black Hat and Alastor looked at Bill who let out a very unconvincing scoff and eye roll," Pfft, it's not like I _miss_ her or anything. Hell no!"

The two just looked at each other then back at the paper not saying a word at the small mans antics.

"That bolsa para caminar de, decided to force us to play a stupid fucking game!" He angerliy ripped the scroll in half eyes turning a dangerous black.

"IF SHE THINKS SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH TAKING AWAY MY POWERS AND FORCING ME INTO THIS HUMAN FORM SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF! " He yelled further shredding the scroll into tiny bits while letting out an animalistic growl.

Both Bill and Alastor watched as he stamped on the scroll spewing curses in sumerian. Bill raised an eyebrow up at the radio host who was busy laughing at the other man having a tantrum. "What's he's so pissy about? "

"The reason he is so 'pissy' as you gracefully say Mr. Gopher-"

"For the last time it's Cipher not Gopher!"

"- is that your ex-beau decided for us to play a game of creating as much chaos as possible. It seems she also removed our hard earned powers to even the playing field. Well thats as mich I could glean from it her handwriting is very showy!"

"Ugh. Great" Bill slid a hand down his face in frustration," If this is one of Bets games we're going to be stuck here for a while. She loves screwing with people, even more than me"

Alastor let out a small yawn carefully behind his hands," "Well I'm getting rather peckish! And since I have a policy of not killing children or newfound friends" He said friends with a hint of sarcasm which didn't went unnoticed by Bill,"We're going to find something to eat! Come along Mr. Gopher!" 

The short man glared at the tall human man. It was clear as day he had several screws loose. Even through Bill liked crazy people he was really annoying. He then looked at who he slowly realized was Black Hat who was still spewing demonic curses down at the scattered scroll pieces.

"I rather stay with Mr grumpy pants, then go any where with you bitey mc' biterson!" He stubbornly sat down on the cooling sand arms crossed . Alastor shrugged, "Suit yourself! Just make sure you start a fire I heard the desert at night gets a little chilly! "

~~\-------~~

"C-curse this h-human b-body!" Bill stuttered teeth clattering against the freezing cold. He thought that humanity were well insulated to the cold. He thought wrong. His feet were numb his whole body muttering with cold no matter how tight he held the small cape. 'Whose idea was it to make deserts so freakishly cold at night?! ' Wait it was his. Dang it!

"H-hey! Hur-Hurry up with that f-fire Hattie!" The triangle demon screamed with alarm," I call feel my toes getting frostbite!"

Black Hat looked up from his sad fire making efforts. Through the star studded darkness Bill could see a bloodthirsty scowl of annoyance on his face," Who in the bloody hell said that I was gonna allow you to warm yourself by _my_ fire you whelp?"

Cipher let out a obnoxious scoff," What fire? All I see is a pathetic pile of twigs rubbing sticks together ! Why don't you conjure a fire Mr. I named my self after a stupid accessory?" Either unaware or purposely ignoring the warning sound of a twig being snapped in half he continued," Oh wait! You can't! You're stuck in a stupid human body along with me and Mr. Grins !"

"At least I haven't gotten defeated by a group of pathetic mortals! You're nothing but a B-list demon!"

"I have you know I destroyed my own home dimension for fun! I'm an A-list you asshole!"

Black Hat let out a snort," Well any decent C-list villain can mercilessly slaughter their whole home town!!"

"Y-you're lucky that Betty took away my powers to protect you otherwise I'll, I'll-"

"You'll what?" He would rather die than admit messing with the one-eyed shorty was becoming vaguely entertaining. Bill's face turned a furious shade of red about to say something that would get him beaten when they heard a lazy well-to do hum.

The duo looked unamused at the.arrival of the radio host whose mouth was humming a happy tune. "What the hell is that taxidermy nightmare?"

"Oh just a little show tune that I heard of during my time in hell, why its one of the only few new fangled stuff after my death that I like also I took a liking to tap-" Black Hat let out a sigh wishing he could rip his face off to get the aggravation across," I wasn't talking about that ear bleeding trash that you were singing, I'm talking about that fur covered flea bitten rabbit thing in your arms" He pointed at the cat sized jack-a-lope in Alastors arms.

" Oh you mean Mr. Henry! Just a little rabbit I found! His fur is so soft, and he has a pair.of magnificent antlers!" The tan toned man let out a melancholy chuckle," Ah they remind me of a pair I had mounted up on my mantle back in New Orleans!"

His smile just barely went down by a centimeter as he petted the jack-a-lope with fondness. "So where is the fire? We can't have any dinner with out fire!" 

"Well Mr. Head Accessory doesn't know how to ! And-and I'm freezing my pants off!" Bill whined earning a murderous glare from Black Hat. Alastor just shook his head letting out a few exaggerated clicks of the tongue at them reminiscent of a disappointed school teacher . Without warning he shoved Mr. Henry into Bills arms with practiced ease he rolled up his sleeves," Mr. Hat may you gather some rocks please while I prepare the fire? I would be deeply grateful if you did so!"

"Vete a la mierda!"

"Merci pour l'offre mais j'ai peur de devoir refuser!" Alastor cheering replied making Black growl under his breath and stomping off to go find rocks.Possibly to throw at his head in retaliation. The disguised deer demon let out a little victory smirk humming away as he made the fire. 

So the two Bill and Alastor sat in silence only broken by the soft hum of the the song Alastor was humming from earlier. Cipher carefully petted the soft fur of Mr. Henry watching Al make a fire in practiced ease.

Bothered by the silence and the boredom that started to become heavy a curious Bill broke the silence with a question," So smiles what's your deal?"

"Pardon?" Alastor looked at him without stopping what he was doing, looking at him with a arched eyebrow.

"That whole smiling thing you got going on! Is your face frozen or what?" Alastor blinked a few times at Bill in confusion his smile never receding," Oh! You mean my charming smile? Hahahaha! Wouldn't you like to know !" 

Bill frowned trying not to get bit by the fluffy animal in his arms," That's why I asked! Betty only likes to screw with special people. So there's must be something wrong with you, besides your weirdness"

Alastor let out a laugh the growing flames highlighting his face,"Well since fair Betty wants us to get along lets just say I like to have a _killing_ good time!" 

Bill rolled his eye when Alastor let out a somewhat insane chuckle. Bill went back to petting Mr. Henry humming along with the annoying but catchy tune.

He couldn't help but be curious what Betty was planning by putting together this odd cast of characters.

When Black Hat came back arm full of rocks dirty and rightly pissed at Betty he was met with a gag inducing peaceful scene:

Bill was wrapped up in his meager cape an arm around the rabbit both of them snoring peacefully against the rock. The soft orange glow of the flames that Alastor carefully tended highlighting the two.

Black Hat felt bile crawling up from the back of his throat from looking at this. Throwing down the rocks he marched over to the snoring Cipher and with a practised ease sharply kicked the sleeping figure. Bill let out a loud howl of pain and surprise. The kick startled both him and Mr.Henry the latter jumping out of the warm embrace running away accidently cutting itself on some of the rocks that Black Hat threw.

Alastor's nose twitched at the scent of blood quickly scooping up Mr. Henry. "Mr. Hat don't recklessly throw stones! Look at Mr. Henry! His little foot got cut!" 

"So? Who cares ! " Black growled losing interest in Bill who nursed his side shooting a glare at him," All you puny mortals are the same, so uselessly frail!" And now he was stuck in the same situation. "Once I re gain my powers I'll eliminate that wretched Betty from the face of the universe!" He angrily kicked the ground dredging up some sand that nearly landed on the fire.

Bill let out a short sitting closer to the fire watching Alastor rub Mr. Henry' s tummy," You wish! Why with a snap of her fingers she could easily defeat you. Just be glad she's so fucking lazy to do her job why if it wasn't for her other half , the ever expanding cosmos would collapse on it self!"

"She's in charge of managing the multi-verses , making sure no universe developed its own cosmic being yet look at me!" He stood up to his full height," But instead each one became a petri-dish developing its own environment and no matter how many Time babies I destroy more will replace them! Cause of her 'management' it's an endless playground for chaotic beings like me!"

"Did you really have to tell me such worthless information?" Black Hat sneered finally sitting down near the fire looking at the hungry flames.

Bill shrugged " We don't want the readers to think weird thoughts, right?" His words got a questioning look for Alastor who got a shrug from Black Hat in return. 

"Anyway boys what do you want to eat tonight? " Alastor said one hand rubbing the soft underbelly of Mr. Henry with one hand earning that the strange purr that all rabbits do while one hand he grabbed a sharp stone. The two men looked at him in confusion now aware of the empty feeling in thwie stomachs. With out any warning he plunged the stone into the sofe underbelly his grip tightening on the jack-a-lope who let out a shrill scream.

His smile got wider as it struggled the stone digging into its flesh. Eyes still on him Alastor discarded the stone and reached into open bleeding cavity . 

They watched as he dug around the still screaming creature. His arm became dyed in crimson when as he dug around the cavity. He carefully looked around in the cavity before smiling. When his hand found his target Alastor carefully pulled it out. The two demons watched as the radio host pulldd out Mr. Henrys heart. However he did it so roughly that some blood from the still beating heart splattered onto the three demons in human skin. 

"His heart is so small, may as well be a snack, would you want it Mr. Gopher?" He asked wondering if his display bothered the two who throughout his bloody performance only widen their eyes in shock. His worries were unfounded when the the two fell into hysterics laughing crazily.

"Dammit Smiles! That was one heck of a performance! Did you hear how it screamed! Wow! "

"True that was entertaining! A bit unrefined method of disembowlment but entertaining!"

This made Alastor blink a but in shock but he let out an amused laughter as well! 

It seems they're going to get along fine!

**Author's Note:**

> For some odd reason no one was crazy enough to write what would happen- probably mayhem , maybe murder or the whole universe screaming in obivous pain- if the three most vile most charimasitc most down right sexy- well Black Hat and Alastor are Bills kinda cute- demons encountered each other - So I decided to put it into my hands enjoy my fellows~


End file.
